Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Text Production (Draft 1)

What are the potential effects of global warming in terms of climate change and how can they be arrested?

Global warming is no longer a future fear, instead it is happening now. With some countries like China and India which are developing at an increasing speed, there is a big boost in the number of factories and vehicles. Billions of tons of greenhouse gases are emitted into the atmosphere, causing the thermal radiation to be trapped in the earth. Thus, the earth has warmed and climate change occurs. Unequivocally, there will be potential effects of global warming in terms of climate change like rising of sea levels, frequent happening of natural disasters and affecting the balanced ecosystems but people can cut down the carbon dioxide emissions to arrest those problems.

One of the effects of global warming is the sea-level rise. It happens when the oceans get warmed up and the water expands. The melting of mountain glaciers and ice sheets has also contributed to the rise. According to Holli Riebeek (2007), the rising sea levels will erode coasts and cause more frequent coastal flooding. This is a great threat for people who live in coastal areas less than 10 meters above sea level, for instance in Florida, California or Bangladesh. Although the sea levels are only rising 3cm per decade, it is massive enough to let the houses disappear underwater.

Another effect of global warming is that natural disasters will happen more frequently. Examples of those disasters included destructive storms, flash floods, widespread droughts, hurricanes and tornadoes. When the ocean gets warmer, it causes stronger storms. As the water temperature increases, the wind velocity increases and the moisture content increases. (Al Gore, 2007) Thus, Hurricanes Katrina formed in Florida at 2005. The consequences are pernicious. People are losing their properties, family and friends. Besides, heat wave also happened in Europe at 2003 which caused an estimated death of 35,000 people. In short, scientists expect that the erratic weather patterns will lead to more sufferings of people in earth.

Furthermore, global warming also affects our balanced ecosystems. Plants and animals grow well in the balanced four seasons. However, global warming leads to the earlier coming of spring and later of fall. Animals need to migrate earlier and plants need more water to withstand the longer growing season. If the temperature keeps on getting higher, the animals and plants which cannot adapt will face extinction. On the other hand, global warming also melts the ice sheets. The polar bears, which depend on the ice, will soon face extinction too. In short, global warming is putting pressure on ecosystems. (Holli Riebeek, 2007)

In order to reduce global warming, people should lessen the emissions of carbon dioxide. There are many ways that an individual can do. For example, buy energy efficient appliances and lamps that reduce energy for heating. It is also better to walk, use bicycle, public bus or hybrid car to travel from one place to another. People should also switch to renewable sources of energy instead of fossil fuels which would emit large amount of carbon dioxide. Besides, use less electronic appliances to save energy. Open the window instead of turning on the air-conditional. In other words, every individual can help to cut down carbon dioxide emissions by small practices.

In conclusion, global warming in terms of climate change has devastating potential effects and they must be arrested. It will lead to sea-level rise, frequent happening of natural disaster and affect the balanced ecosystems. Reducing the carbon emissions will help to solve the problems. Actually global warming has been happening many years ago and most importantly it is irreversible. It is a good thing that we have the awareness of reducing global warming. However, in the meantime, we should adapt the climate change that happens. (Bob Carter, 2008)

1 comment:

joanne said...

1. Is there a clear introductory sentence that introduces the subject matter and the controlling idea? What do you suggest for improvement if the introductory sentence is not clear?
>>A clear introductory sentence that introduces the subject matter and the controlling idea has been provided to steer the readers into the issue of global warming.


2. Is there a thesis statement given as the last sentence of the introductory paragraph? Is it clear and connected to all the topic sentences of the body paragraphs?
>>There is a clear and straightforward thesis statement given in the last sentence of the introductory paragraph. However, I think there is a mistake happening in this part “rising of sea levels, frequent happening of natural disasters and affecting the balanced ecosystems “. In my opinion, it should be written like this “rising of sea levels, frequent happening of natural disasters and disorder of balanced ecosystems”. Take note, same mistake happens in the last paragraph as well.


3. Do the paragraphs have sufficient supporting details and examples? How can the organization be improved?
>>Sufficient supporting details and examples have been given for each of the points written. The essay is well-organized and easy to understand as well.


4. Are there any paragraphs which are not supported well?
>>Overall, each paragraphs has been well-supported by enough elaborations and examples.


5. Are there any sentences or sections that are not clear? If so, how can they be improved?
>>In the first paragraph, is it better if you insert “carbon dioxide” as the example for greenhouse gases to support the fact that you suggest is “to cut down the carbon dioxide emissions to arrest those problems”?
Suggestion: “Billions of tons of greenhouse gases, namely carbon dioxide are emitted into the atmosphere”


6. Does the conclusion summarize all the main points given in the essay or restate the thesis statement? Is it clear? If not, how can the writer improve this part?
>>The conclusion does summarize all the main points given as well as restate the thesis statement. However, I suggest the use of word “In fact” to replace “Actually” in the start of the fourth sentence as it might sound nicer. Besides, same mistake happens as stated for the introductory paragraph.


7. Does the writer cite the sources adequately and appropriately? Note any incorrect citation.
>>I am not too sure whether we should put citation before the full stop or vice versa. So we must check out on this later.


8. Are there any apparent grammatical or spelling mistakes?
>>Except the mistakes in the first and last paragraphs, no other apparent grammatical or spelling mistakes have been noticed by me so far.


9. Does the writer comprehensively cover appropriate materials available from the standard sources? If no, what is missing?
>>There is no any citation in the second last paragraph so I would assume that you have missed out the citation from Chris Woodford on that particular paragraph.


10. Additional comments:
>>In general, the essay is well-structured and straight to the points. Besides, it is not exceeding the words limit. Well Done! 