Sunday, April 18, 2010

Arguementative Essay 1 Draft 1

Should the sale of junk food in school canteens be banned?

Junk food is defined as unhealthy food and food that has low nutritional value. According to Nutritional Value of the Most Popular Snack Foods from Health Foundation (2005), junk foods like chips, hamburgers, instant noodles and soft drinks are all having low nutritional value. As junk food contains chemical additives, it is tastier and has longer shelf life. Its cheap manufacture cost and easy storage have also increased its popularity. (Smith 2005) I strongly believe that the sale of junk food in school canteens should be banned as junk food can lead to childhood obesity, bad behaviour and littering problems.

Firstly, junk food is to be blamed for the rising of childhood obesity. It has been shown that the foods eaten at home by 12-14 years old Australian children in 2003 have an increasing trend on fat and sugar intake instead of fresh fruit and vegetables. (Australian Nutrition Journal 2004) This problem is made worse when the school canteens are offering junk food to the students, making junk food to be widely available. Junk food is high in fat and sugar and it can promote youth weight gain due to the rising of kilojoule intake. Childhood obesity can be further lead to heart disease, osteoarthritis and some cancers. (Tran 2005)

Besides, junk food causes behavioural problems in children according to Smith (2005). This has been further elaborated by Cray (2005) that students who consume more junk food cannot get sufficient nutrients for their health development and growth. Thus, their learning potential is reduced. Students often take junk food as their lunch in school. Certain chemical additives in junk food can cause students to be hyperactive and have poor concentration. There is a noticeable improvement in students’ behaviour in class and they are becoming calmer after lunch when junk food and soft drinks are removed from the school canteen. (Green 2005)

Furthermore, the sale of junk food in school canteens can also lead to litter problems. Fast food often comes with plastic packaging and students will just dispose the packaging anywhere after eating the food. There are also empty soft drink cans everywhere. The cleaning cost increases and the school groundsman will have to spend a long period of time to clean those rubbish. This has reduced the time to spend on the more beneficial school maintenance projects. (Green 2005) On the other hand, litter is a safety and health hazard and gives bad image for our communities.

In conclusion, the sale of junk food in school canteens should be banned as junk food can lead to several negative impacts like childhood obesity, bad behaviour and litter problems. Schools should educate students about good nutrition and introduce more healthy food policies to promote good eating habits. Moreover, most importantly the eating habits of children at home need to be changed to a healthier way. (Tran 2005)

1 comment:

joanne said...

A clear introductory sentence has been written to start off the essay with the definition of junk food. However, it might sound better if you write: Junk food is defined as unhealthy food that has low nutritional value. As ‘the food’ seems repetitious here. Well thesis statement has been given in the last sentence of the introductory paragraph. Sufficient supporting details and examples have been given for each of the points written. The essay is easy to understand as well. However, the organization of the sentences seems yet to be improved as some sentences in certain paragraphs sounds not well-connected with each others. Besides, I am not too sure either ‘littering problems’ or ‘litter problems’ is correct? Since the first paragraph you used ‘littering problems’ but last paragraph you used ‘litter problems’. About the citation, I think you should cite first before you put the full stop. On the last second paragraph, I suggest you to replace ‘on the other hand’ with ‘moreover’ or else because ‘on the other hand’ is more appropriate to use when opposite views are given. Last but not the least, you have concluded the essay well as the thesis statement has restated by summarizing all the main points in the essay. Good job, yao! haha