Monday, May 17, 2010

Argumentative essay:Television viewing Draft 1

The effects of television viewing.

Watching television is indeed one of the favorite pass time activities by people from all walks of life. From a survey “Average hours per day spent in leisure and sports activities for the total population by selected characteristics, 2003 annual averages”, watching television is the activity that both female and male spent the most hours on it every day (ATUS 2003). With television viewing getting more and more popular, it creates different perspectives on the effects that the activity might bring. Hot debates are going on whether television viewing can bring negative or positive impacts for the viewers. I strongly believe that television can benefit the viewers as it lightens up the learning process, broadens our knowledge and encourages critical thinking.

First of all, the use of television as a teaching tool makes learning to be fun. As an audio-visual medium, television has provided another aspect on learning for the students (Leigh 2001). They can understand more easily and remember the information they have seen and heard in the television better than just reading them from books. Rutherford (2002) has also further elaborated this point by using the example of “Sesame Street”, an educational program. Animation and puppets which are used in the show can make the learning of colours, numbers and letters to be fun for the pre-schoolers.

Moreover, viewing of television provides us with handy information to increase our knowledge. According to Leigh (2001), children who watch television are more aware of their cultural identity and the contribution of other cultures. Watching television also enables them to experience the excitement and wonder of the animal kingdom in an entertaining and enjoyable way (Rutherford 2002). Besides, television viewing generates curiosity and initiative to learn. For instance, “Play School” program equips pre-schoolers with a large vocabulary before they begin school (Leigh 2001).

Additionally, television viewing has the ability to develop critical thinking during the process of discussing how conflict is puzzled out in programs (Sharif 1999). Undeniable by Leigh (2001), television is a stimulating and appealing medium which encourages critical thinking about important issues, ranging from globalization to homelessness. These latest current local and international news can inspire public to become involved and also motivate them to do works of charity. With sharing of issues from television programs with friends and family, antisocial behaviour is promoted indirectly.

In conclusion, viewing of television brings good effects for its viewers as it lightens up the learning process, broadens our knowledge and encourages critical thinking. Nevertheless, arguments are present for the opposite side of view where television is criticized. We should be clear that those criticisms are only focusing on the viewing habits that are unhealthy and excessive (Rutherford 2002). Therefore, I would once again emphasize on my stance where television viewing actually benefits the viewers.

3 comments:

joanne said...

First of all, a concise introductory sentence has been given to lead the readers to the main subject of the essay. Statistics is given as well but the title of the survey sounds so long-winded and confusing. So, I suggest you put like this:

From American Time Use Survey (2003), watching television is the activity that both female and male spent the most hours on it every day.

Besides, I am not too sure about the structure of this sentence:

Hot debates are going on (to argue) whether television viewing can bring negative or positive impacts for the viewers.

Or will it sound better if changing to:

Heated debates over the impacts of television watching for the viewers are getting more intensive lately.

Well-comprehensive thesis statement has been given in the last sentence of the introductory paragraph. But I suggest you add: “In my opinion” on the beginning of the thesis statement to make the flow better.

Below are some grammar mistakes that I manage to find out:

In the first paragraph, “better than just reading them from books” should change to “better than just reading from books”.

In the second paragraph, “before they begin school (Leigh 2001).” should change to “before they begin schooling (Leigh 2001).”

In the third paragraph, “develop critical thinking during the process of discussing” should change to “develop critical thinking through the process of discussing”

Overall, there are sufficient supporting sentences for each of the points but forth paragraph seemingly lacks of information as it consists only four sentences. I think it would be better if you manage to add at least one more sentence to it. Moreover, more additional information is encouraging as word limit has not been reached yet.

The conclusion does summarize all the main points given as well as restate the thesis statement.

However, there is a minor mistake:
“emphasize on my stance where television viewing actually” should change to “emphasize on my stance that television viewing actually”

Anyway, I like the way you end the essay by making a strong stand on your viewpoint. Additionally, the sources are cited adequately and correctly and you are able to comprehensively cover appropriate materials available from the standard sources as well.

Sorry if giving any inappropriate comments ^.^

Pauline said...

Thanks for the comments given! I learned a lot from them. =)

Sam July 09e said...

wow..good job !